A Bachelor's Dating Scale

I think I should explain why I have a picture of Megan Fox on the side of my blog with a caption that reads "so beautiful it hurts." Before I had a picture of a Ford GT. (I know. You car enthusiasts out there are cursing my name. I was really torn up about changing that picture myself, but I did it for a change of scenery). Anyway, a couple weeks ago, while I was on an eight day sojourn into the wilderness with a bunch of crazy Alaskan bachelors, I was asked which current female star I found the most attractive. I actually had to think about this for a while. In the end Megan Fox won my vote.

I remember when the first Transformers movie came out one of my friends went and saw it. When I asked him how it was, he told me it was a fun movie. Then he went on to say something like this: "and the girl, Megan Fox, is super hot. I mean really, she's so beautiful it hurts." I kind of laughed at him. But once I saw the movie I realized his description was completely accurate. I had the same feeling (ironically the same feeling I have when I look at a Ford GT). No other female star has had the same impact. Close runner ups are (not in order): Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, and Katherine Heigle.

With that said, I don't have a high opinion of actresses. There's more to my rating system than just attractiveness. I don't think any of the aforementioned actresses would score higher than a 7.5 on my personal dating scale--which is only good enough for a couple dates. Nothing long term.

Ok, that's a lie. After sitting here for a moment and thinking, I have to be honest with myself. If I had a chance to date Megan Fox, I would totally do it. But I still don't think she'd score very high on my long term dating scale. However, I know a good many girls at BYU who I think score much higher than these so called superstars (but they're all getting married while I'm stuck lumberjacking in Alaska).

Anyway, I don't know why anybody would honestly care about this. But I'm a bachelor and I felt like responding to the question. In fact, I guess I'll just do an official top 5 (with pictures :).

5) Jessica Alba: Jessica Alba scores low (here) because she has never been in a good movie. And she might be a bimbo. I would give her a couple dates to prove otherwise.












4) Angelina Jolie: Angelina is widely recognized as the best female action star. She is good, but I think she's too popular right now. I wouldn't date her because of her age and her obsession with Brad Pitt.












3) Charlize Theron: I dated a girl that looked exactly like this picture. I think I made an idiot of myself while doing so. Looking back on it, I think I understand why I had such a difficult time talking to her. I'd have the same problem with Charlize Theron.















2) Natalie Portman: Natalie is Israeli. She gets a lot of points for that. I think she's the only girl on here who I would seriously consider dating, if I knew her. She doesn't seem egotistical or snobbish to me. And she is rather beautiful. And she acted in Star Wars, that's worth a good bit.












1) Megan Fox: Gets the #1 on looks alone. If I knew her, I don't know that she'd stay here very long. She seems pretty condescending to her fans. But she is very, very HOT!




Feel free to disagree with me.

P.S.-- I realize that this was a really shallow and selfishly gratifying post, but like I said, I'm a bachelor. I'm a bachelor living in Alaska with a very minimum exposure to estrogen. The idea that somewhere out there, not here, but out there. . .somewhere, exists an unbelievable amount of beautiful single women to be dated and wooed, gives me hope and courage to survive until I leave this arid wasteland (metaphorically speaking).

The Mormon Proposition

Just when I though that I had nothing to say I find this on the Yahoo movies homepage.



Obviously this made me a little bit angry. And here are my refutations of the movie without me actually watching it.

1) Mormons were not the only ones pushing proposition 8. In fact, financially speaking Mormons were not the greatest contributors. The Catholics and various other Evangelist Christian organizations also made significant donations.

2) While I do remember letters encouraging donations for Prop 8 there was never, at any time, a requirement for members to do so. I did not donate money or time to Prop 8, and my church membership was never questioned.

3) The LDS church does not hate gays (or any other group with variant sexual orientation). The church DOES believe in a strict code of morality in regards to human sexuality and guess what. . .gay sex is outside of that. It is a sin. But so is adultery, so is sex before marriage. I could go on, but suffice it to say, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is against sin, of any kind, and any time the allowance of sin is legislated in state or national laws the Church will be fiercely opposed to it.

4) Even from the trailer for this film, you can tell that the director is blatantly misrepresenting statements by Church leadership. This is the power of film. And it's easy to forget that context matters very much when an individual makes a statement. Also, it's funny how you can take a film image of say, Elder Ballard, and make it a little grainy, slow down the image a little bit, to make the image seem a little bit creepy. In the same case, the people shouting in the streets against gays aren't necessarily Mormons (some of them could be, but I'd wager most aren't). Also, the guy who said that gays are "the greatest danger to America" was a Utah politician, and in no way related to the leadership of the Church.

Anyway, I'm just mad. This "documentary" is a stupid attempt to attack the Church.

Blog Redesign

I'm starting a major renovation of my blog formatting and layout. Just changing the look of things. Since I haven't had much to say lately this gives me a sense of still being an active blogger.

Smokes

Here's a pretty funny article from the Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-ecofriendly-cigarettes-kill-destructive-human,17529/

Ramblings of a Wandering Man

This is really just a post to announce to the world that I still exist. This has been one of the longer dry spells as a blogger, and what I am offering with this post is nothing more than a tiny drop of relief (for me, not necessarily for you).

I am back in Alaska for the summer. After the whirlwind finish to my last semester of college (EVER!), my summer home is a refreshing dip into a slower paced, relaxed world. Unfortunately, a week in Glennallen, Alaska is enough to make me want to go back to the other one. This place is a dead end for me. I love it, and I hate to dog on it, but I can't live here, yet. As soon as the summer is over I'm taking my money and running.

But that brings up the question of where exactly I am going. My original intention was to return to Provo, UT. I like it there; I have both friends and family in the area. And there are lots of girls. But on the other hand, I'll be hanging around in a college town with no real possibilities for good employment. Plus, the one girl who really made Provo an intriguing option is now engaged to the boyfriend whom I hoped she would. . . disengage.

Ack! Curses!

But where else would I go? I can't stay in Alaska without turning into a depressed and crazy old hermit. I've considered Georgia, I spent a couple years there and liked it a lot. It would be nice to go back, but I can't think of any specific reasons to return other than nostalgia.

My list of other options totals a big fat zero.

Any suggestions?

(In theory, I can go anywhere if I achieve my dream of making my living as a writer).

I no longer have to spend money on school

Now that I am graduating from BYU (after 7 long years) I find myself in a strange situation. See, all my money for the last 10 years of my life has been going mostly to school (and a mission). Since I am still single and uncommitted that means I have all sorts of marvelous opportunities before me. Here are three of them:
















So yeah. That's a 2011 Ford Mustang (on the right). It has the new 5.0 Coyote engine which literally sends chills down my spine. Oh, and there's a house up there too. And a Honda Shadow Phantom.

Now, I never thought I'd be a motorcycle kind of guy, but lately I've found the idea very appealing. I can't really define why, though it may have something to do with being a free man (in other words: bachelor).

And of course I'll be able to afford all these things because I'm going to be so rich once I graduate. An English degree is pretty much guaranteed money, right?

Poem of the Month

Greater Love


Red lips are not so red
As the stained stones kissed by the English dead.
Kindness of wooed and wooer
Seems shame to their love pure.
O Love, your eyes lose lure
When I behold eyes blinded in my stead!

Your slender attitude
Trembles not exquisite like limbs knife-skewed,
Rolling and rolling there
Where God seems not to care:
Till the fierce love they bear
Cramps them in death’s extreme decrepitude.

Your voice sings not so soft,—
Though even as wind murmuring through raftered loft,—
Your dear voice is not dear,
Gentle, and evening clear,
As theirs whom none now hear,
Now earth has stopped their piteous mouths that coughed.

Heart, you were never hot
Nor large, nor full like hearts made great with shot;
And though your hand be pale,
Paler are all which trail
Your cross through flame and hail:
Weep, you may weep, for you may touch them not.


Wilfred Owen