Monday, June 21, 2010

A Bachelor's Dating Scale

I think I should explain why I have a picture of Megan Fox on the side of my blog with a caption that reads "so beautiful it hurts." Before I had a picture of a Ford GT. (I know. You car enthusiasts out there are cursing my name. I was really torn up about changing that picture myself, but I did it for a change of scenery). Anyway, a couple weeks ago, while I was on an eight day sojourn into the wilderness with a bunch of crazy Alaskan bachelors, I was asked which current female star I found the most attractive. I actually had to think about this for a while. In the end Megan Fox won my vote.

I remember when the first Transformers movie came out one of my friends went and saw it. When I asked him how it was, he told me it was a fun movie. Then he went on to say something like this: "and the girl, Megan Fox, is super hot. I mean really, she's so beautiful it hurts." I kind of laughed at him. But once I saw the movie I realized his description was completely accurate. I had the same feeling (ironically the same feeling I have when I look at a Ford GT). No other female star has had the same impact. Close runner ups are (not in order): Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, and Katherine Heigle.

With that said, I don't have a high opinion of actresses. There's more to my rating system than just attractiveness. I don't think any of the aforementioned actresses would score higher than a 7.5 on my personal dating scale--which is only good enough for a couple dates. Nothing long term.

Ok, that's a lie. After sitting here for a moment and thinking, I have to be honest with myself. If I had a chance to date Megan Fox, I would totally do it. But I still don't think she'd score very high on my long term dating scale. However, I know a good many girls at BYU who I think score much higher than these so called superstars (but they're all getting married while I'm stuck lumberjacking in Alaska).

Anyway, I don't know why anybody would honestly care about this. But I'm a bachelor and I felt like responding to the question. In fact, I guess I'll just do an official top 5 (with pictures :).

5) Jessica Alba: Jessica Alba scores low (here) because she has never been in a good movie. And she might be a bimbo. I would give her a couple dates to prove otherwise.












4) Angelina Jolie: Angelina is widely recognized as the best female action star. She is good, but I think she's too popular right now. I wouldn't date her because of her age and her obsession with Brad Pitt.












3) Charlize Theron: I dated a girl that looked exactly like this picture. I think I made an idiot of myself while doing so. Looking back on it, I think I understand why I had such a difficult time talking to her. I'd have the same problem with Charlize Theron.















2) Natalie Portman: Natalie is Israeli. She gets a lot of points for that. I think she's the only girl on here who I would seriously consider dating, if I knew her. She doesn't seem egotistical or snobbish to me. And she is rather beautiful. And she acted in Star Wars, that's worth a good bit.












1) Megan Fox: Gets the #1 on looks alone. If I knew her, I don't know that she'd stay here very long. She seems pretty condescending to her fans. But she is very, very HOT!




Feel free to disagree with me.

P.S.-- I realize that this was a really shallow and selfishly gratifying post, but like I said, I'm a bachelor. I'm a bachelor living in Alaska with a very minimum exposure to estrogen. The idea that somewhere out there, not here, but out there. . .somewhere, exists an unbelievable amount of beautiful single women to be dated and wooed, gives me hope and courage to survive until I leave this arid wasteland (metaphorically speaking).

4 comments:

Analei said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Analei said...

Mike disagrees with you about Angelina Jolie. She wouldn't even be close to his top ten. And what happened to Catherine Zeta-Jones? Megan Fox is hot, but her skankiness totally cancels her out.

Jackie said...

Megan Fox got married last week.
...sorry dude.

Vae Gannon said...

Yes, I knew about Megan Fox's marriage. I guess that devalues her some on the whole list, but I didn't really make the list with availability in mind. She's still the hottest female film star right now.

In regards to Angelina Jolie, she has too much screen power to not be on this list. As old as she is, she's more in demand in the world of film than the four other actresses I've listed here, added together.

And I love Catherine Zeta-Jones. However, I haven't seen any movies from her in a long time. I think her star power days may be over. I still think her role in the Mask of Zorro is probably the hottest female role I've ever seen.