Locked in Iso.

So here I am in Alaska. An outdoor paradise, right? I should be happy about that, and I am. The problem is that I spend every moment of my job out enjoying this paradise. I literally live in the wilderness for eight days in a row. Thus when I come home for my six days off, I'm actually a little tired of living in a tent and eating camp food. What I really want to do is get out. But I can't. I'm stuck in the social black hole of the world. There is nothing to do here, in Glennallen, besides doing outdoor things. And that sucks. I miss Utah.

Basically, I'm suffering from a minor melancholy because I'm extremely bored right now. I would like to go see a movie, do some ballroom dancing. . .things of that nature. But I can't, because this place is the place where bachelors go to die (or turn into crochety old mountain men).

A Bachelor's Dating Scale

I think I should explain why I have a picture of Megan Fox on the side of my blog with a caption that reads "so beautiful it hurts." Before I had a picture of a Ford GT. (I know. You car enthusiasts out there are cursing my name. I was really torn up about changing that picture myself, but I did it for a change of scenery). Anyway, a couple weeks ago, while I was on an eight day sojourn into the wilderness with a bunch of crazy Alaskan bachelors, I was asked which current female star I found the most attractive. I actually had to think about this for a while. In the end Megan Fox won my vote.

I remember when the first Transformers movie came out one of my friends went and saw it. When I asked him how it was, he told me it was a fun movie. Then he went on to say something like this: "and the girl, Megan Fox, is super hot. I mean really, she's so beautiful it hurts." I kind of laughed at him. But once I saw the movie I realized his description was completely accurate. I had the same feeling (ironically the same feeling I have when I look at a Ford GT). No other female star has had the same impact. Close runner ups are (not in order): Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Jessica Alba, and Katherine Heigle.

With that said, I don't have a high opinion of actresses. There's more to my rating system than just attractiveness. I don't think any of the aforementioned actresses would score higher than a 7.5 on my personal dating scale--which is only good enough for a couple dates. Nothing long term.

Ok, that's a lie. After sitting here for a moment and thinking, I have to be honest with myself. If I had a chance to date Megan Fox, I would totally do it. But I still don't think she'd score very high on my long term dating scale. However, I know a good many girls at BYU who I think score much higher than these so called superstars (but they're all getting married while I'm stuck lumberjacking in Alaska).

Anyway, I don't know why anybody would honestly care about this. But I'm a bachelor and I felt like responding to the question. In fact, I guess I'll just do an official top 5 (with pictures :).

5) Jessica Alba: Jessica Alba scores low (here) because she has never been in a good movie. And she might be a bimbo. I would give her a couple dates to prove otherwise.












4) Angelina Jolie: Angelina is widely recognized as the best female action star. She is good, but I think she's too popular right now. I wouldn't date her because of her age and her obsession with Brad Pitt.












3) Charlize Theron: I dated a girl that looked exactly like this picture. I think I made an idiot of myself while doing so. Looking back on it, I think I understand why I had such a difficult time talking to her. I'd have the same problem with Charlize Theron.















2) Natalie Portman: Natalie is Israeli. She gets a lot of points for that. I think she's the only girl on here who I would seriously consider dating, if I knew her. She doesn't seem egotistical or snobbish to me. And she is rather beautiful. And she acted in Star Wars, that's worth a good bit.












1) Megan Fox: Gets the #1 on looks alone. If I knew her, I don't know that she'd stay here very long. She seems pretty condescending to her fans. But she is very, very HOT!




Feel free to disagree with me.

P.S.-- I realize that this was a really shallow and selfishly gratifying post, but like I said, I'm a bachelor. I'm a bachelor living in Alaska with a very minimum exposure to estrogen. The idea that somewhere out there, not here, but out there. . .somewhere, exists an unbelievable amount of beautiful single women to be dated and wooed, gives me hope and courage to survive until I leave this arid wasteland (metaphorically speaking).

The Mormon Proposition

Just when I though that I had nothing to say I find this on the Yahoo movies homepage.



Obviously this made me a little bit angry. And here are my refutations of the movie without me actually watching it.

1) Mormons were not the only ones pushing proposition 8. In fact, financially speaking Mormons were not the greatest contributors. The Catholics and various other Evangelist Christian organizations also made significant donations.

2) While I do remember letters encouraging donations for Prop 8 there was never, at any time, a requirement for members to do so. I did not donate money or time to Prop 8, and my church membership was never questioned.

3) The LDS church does not hate gays (or any other group with variant sexual orientation). The church DOES believe in a strict code of morality in regards to human sexuality and guess what. . .gay sex is outside of that. It is a sin. But so is adultery, so is sex before marriage. I could go on, but suffice it to say, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is against sin, of any kind, and any time the allowance of sin is legislated in state or national laws the Church will be fiercely opposed to it.

4) Even from the trailer for this film, you can tell that the director is blatantly misrepresenting statements by Church leadership. This is the power of film. And it's easy to forget that context matters very much when an individual makes a statement. Also, it's funny how you can take a film image of say, Elder Ballard, and make it a little grainy, slow down the image a little bit, to make the image seem a little bit creepy. In the same case, the people shouting in the streets against gays aren't necessarily Mormons (some of them could be, but I'd wager most aren't). Also, the guy who said that gays are "the greatest danger to America" was a Utah politician, and in no way related to the leadership of the Church.

Anyway, I'm just mad. This "documentary" is a stupid attempt to attack the Church.

Blog Redesign

I'm starting a major renovation of my blog formatting and layout. Just changing the look of things. Since I haven't had much to say lately this gives me a sense of still being an active blogger.

Smokes

Here's a pretty funny article from the Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-ecofriendly-cigarettes-kill-destructive-human,17529/