Magic takes its Toll

I believe in magic. I think every writer does to an extent. Magic is essential to the creation of a story. The ability to suspend reality and lose one's self in the depths of the imagination is essential to the creative process. Magic is what clicks each element of an epic story together, like the pieces of a complex puzzle finally start to fall into place once the picture starts to define itself. Magic exists.

From an early point in my childhood I have been subject to this whimsical power. I don't know how or when, but my life has been defined by magic. Perhaps it was growing up in a wilderness paradise that facilitated an overactive imagination. Maybe it was reading books that allowed me to catch small glimpses of the magic that ruled others, like C. S. Lewis, Terry Brooks, Margaret Weis, J. R. R. Tolkien, Louis L'Amour, and hundreds of others. I could have been born to it, like some men are born to work with their hands and others are born to work with their minds. Whatever the case, magic is a part of me; I am a part of it. While others visited theaters, shopping malls, and various other entertainments found where people are gathered, I spent my time wandering the forests with my siblings. We spent hours creating ourselves as different characters with a variety of obstacles to overcome: wizards, warriors, cowboys, guerrilla fighters, time travelers, you name it and we did it. We made wizards robes from bedsheets (my mom wasn't happy that we destroyed them) and stood on the edge of the bluff that overlooked the river below and let the wind whip the white fabric behind us, we carved staffs from willow or alder and etched them with various designs and then used them for combat, we drew maps, built hidden shelters, and created a network of paths to facilitate rapid travel through our forest. Magic was a constant in our lives, and it continues to influence me now. That's why I am a writer. That's why I spend so much time swimming in the currents of my imagination. That is why, when I read, it's more like dreaming the most vivid of dreams, and quitting feels like an abrupt awakening.

But magic takes its toll; magic demands a payment.

The payment is different for each person, but for me to facilitate a clear connection with the magic there can be no interference, no distractions, and no hesitation when the muse speaks. That means that the majority of time is spent alone, lost in thought, and then transferring those thoughts to paper. That means that most of the time is spent dreaming of magic, rather than experiencing it directly. And that is where, for me, magic takes its heavy, heavy toll. Instead of experiencing life for myself, I often live it vicariously through the experiences of my characters. Instead of experiencing courage, I dream of courage. Instead of experiencing fear, I dream of others who experience it for me. Instead of living my dreams, I write them down for others . . . Instead of finding love, I only dream of finding love. . .

At times, I am as one dead to the world of life--sitting alone, in the silent confines of my room, with only the sound of the steady tapping on my keyboard to keep me company. That is the price that I pay to dream. And I must often wonder if this is a price that is too steep, a price that buys me something precious, but costs me something priceless.

The End of Finals

Yes, that wonderful time in life is upon me once again; finals are over and I am done with this semester. That means that I am free--until September of this year--to become productive in my personal life. Meaning, that I can get a job--or in this case start working because I already have the job--start writing more consistently, begin that rock band that my brother is so excited about, sleep all day, play all day, lift weights, or generally do what I want.

There are a couple things that I am looking forward to during this summer vacation:
1) First of all, I'm going to be living at home this summer, so I am especially looking forward to my mom's most excellent cooking. I think I will be quite healthy this summer, because not only does she cook well, but she cooks balanced/healthy meals too. After three straight years of eating college student slop (ramen, pasta-roni, processed chicken) I am most definitely looking forward to some real home cooking.
2) I've mentioned already (in earlier posts) how much I am looking forward to seeing Alaska, the land that gets inside your blood and becomes a part of you, so I'm not really going to elaborate on this.
3) Writing. I think, with the eight on, six off, schedule that I am going to be working this summer, that I will possibly be able to finish a working rough draft of my epic novel. This wold be a breakthrough of momentous proportions, because the work has been struggling for the last four years.

Anyway, that's just a few reasons why this summer is going to be awesome. Here are a few things that I am going to miss:
1) Women. Where I am going, they ladies are few and far between. I live in the wilderness, and that isn't a natural habitat for women. I wish it were, if women lived in the wild, it would be much easier to catch one. . .sigh.
2) There isn't much in the way of dancing in Glennallen, Alaska. I feel fairly confident in saying that I am the most competent ballroom dancer within 150 miles of where I live--in any direction! I could probably say that I am the ONLY ballroom dancer within a 150 mile radius--with the exception of my darling sister who took her very first ballroom classes this year as a college freshman.
3) All my dancing friends, and roommates. I'm not an actively social person, but because of that, I'm going to miss the few opportunities that I do have to be with friends, even more. Let's face it, for the next four months I'm going to be talking to squirrels, rabbits, maybe predatory animals like bears, or possibly even to trees, in an effort to maintain the illusion of having friends close by. Except for my family, I imagine that I may get pretty lonely at times.

Hmmm, I can't really think of any other negatives about going home for the summer.

So, this is it. It's been a good school year; I'm smarter, faster, and a better dancer than I was a year ago. Shazzam!

Seize the Beat, BYU Ballroom Dance Concert 2008

This last weekend I had the opportunity to participate in my first BYU Ballroom Dance Concert ever. It was a marvelous experience. But not only was it fun, it also caused me to re-analyze some things about dancing.

First I'll talk about my initial impressions of being a ballroom performer.

Most of what I did, during the performances was wait. I'm on an entry level team for the company, and we only dance once during the entire program--discounting the Finale where everybody dances. So, during a show that lasts about an hour and a half, I really only spent about five minutes total onstage. The rest of the time was spent in the men's dressing room playing cards or reading books. Other people did homework, but I'm nowhere near that efficient with my time.

I thought I would be nervous when I finally went onstage, I'm usually quite nervous for performances--like in the movie The Cutting Edge when the dude goes and yarks behind a curtain before they go out on the ice--so I figured I'd get nervous for this as well. It turned out that I was actually quite calm; no nerves. I think maybe the difference was that I couldn't see any of the audience--because they are in the dark and the stage lights are shining in your face--and also it's a little different being a part of a team, where no individual really stands out. What a relief that was, it is sooo much easier to perform correctly when you aren't dealing with extreme nerves.

There were probably around an average of 4000 people for the three shows, which is a pretty good crowd. Back in high school--when I did concert band, jazz band, choir, and basketball--the crowds never really got much more that maybe 200 people, so this was a huge difference. When they cheered at the end of a number it was . . . awesome. Afterwards, as I would make my way through the crowd to my family, everybody was so nice and so impressed by what they had seen. Let me tell you, Ballroom Dance is awesome, and the BYU Ballroom Dance Company puts on a great, great show.

So this caused me to re-analyze what I am doing on the dance team. I used to dance mainly because dance . . . is fun . . . but so much more than that. It's hard to find words to explain the wonder of dancing, if you can think of a way to put it into words, let me know. Anyway, in essence, I used to dance for myself, because it was good for me. But now, as a member of a dance performance team, I have realized that dancing should also be done for other people. That's the whole point of being on this company, but I didn't realize that before. I guess it's logically pretty obvious, but what can I say, I'm blind at times.

But now, it is over. After all the hours of rehearsals, and the sacrifices I've made (almost broken toes, and tons of bruises, etc . . .) I feel kind of at a loss, I wish it was still going on.

Some Modest Plans

I have decided that I am going to start, at some random point in time, a colony. A place where I will be master, the people will be happy, women will be safe, and children won't be cute little vicious vipers. . . they'll just be cute. How will this happen? Well, there will be a few rules/laws that will be in place that will ensure that my kingdom will be a utopia.

Rule Number 1: All citizens of Devenportopia will be required to become ninjas or samurai. Actually the fighting class really doesn't matter, they could be summoners or black mages for all I care, as long as they have some sort of serviceable self-defense ability. The reasons for this stem from a crime TV show that I was watching the other day. People in our modern society are too vulnerable to those who prey on weakness, especially women. The solution? No more weakness. The people of my kingdom will be lions, especially the women, who will beautiful, graceful, and deadly--like the above Israeli military woman with a rifle. Children in my schools will have ninja lessons every day instead of recess. The result will be a society where everybody can kill each other, which would effectively reduce the opportunity cost of crime; it just wouldn't be worth it. And the best part? If somebody did get kind of crazy the result would be a spectacular ninja battle with people crashing through windows, running up walls, high kicks to the head; it would be spectacular.

Rule Number 2: All buildings will be built with the same architectural themes: sweeping arches, fluted columns, graceful spires, all built from stone. Nobody builds with stone anymore. Why? Look at all the ancient civilizations: Egypt, Rome, China, the Mayans, they all built with stone and guess what? Their stuff is still around to look at. Stone lasts; it's almost permanent. Therefore my cities will be built from stone, preferably black stone because that would be cool, dramatic and ninja-esque. This would be a city that says, "we're sophisticated and dangerous."

Rule Number 3: No obnoxious status icons. You won't catch anybody in my kingdom sporting a Hummer just for the sake of having a Hummer. If they need something that big and obnoxious for a legitimate reason then that's fine, but otherwise if you want a status symbol it will have to be sleek and sophisticated, like an Aston Martin, black of course.

Rule Number 4: Every man, woman, and older child would be self-reliant. That means they clean up after themselves, do their jobs, etc . . . . If they break something, they fix it. They dirty something, they clean it. They offend somebody, they apologize--which would be advisable since the offended person could kill them. Basically they take responsibility for their actions. What a novel idea!

Rule Number 5: They wouldn't have to obey me. I'd probably try to make them anyway, but because they would all be ninjas and sorcerers they could ignore me if they want too. Of course once issues of national Utopian security--do utopias have to worry about that?--arise, then I rise in status to super-chief-of-battle ninja and everything I say is law.

Amendment A: People would leave me alone because they would govern themselves. All I want is to take care of the magnificent garden in my back yard and watch my kids play in the forest, I don't want to babysit a bunch of whiny citizens. My concerns are with threats from the outside, I can't help it if my people destroy themselves.

Anyway, those are some of the things that I thought of for my new colony. It would be a good place to live. Want to join?

That's right, I'm a procrastinator!

So for one of my classes this semester, one of the assignments was a "creative project." Meaning, it could be anything that related, even slightly, to anything that has happened historically since the Renaissance. It's a pretty big project and very open ended, and they assign it at the beginning of the semester so that you can put some major time into it. . . I started it at 10pm last night, it was due at 7am this morning. Yes, I am a procrastinator.

I guess I can offer the usual "I was busy with other things" excuse, but in reality, had I been a bit more forward thinking, I could have had at least a rough draft to work from last night. Instead, it's the rough draft of my project that I turned in about an hour ago. Still, because I have a pretty inflated ego, I think my rough drafts are generally as good as most people's final drafts. The problem here, is that I really don't function well after midnight at the end of a long tiring week, so, in all likelihood, my paper might not be up to my usual standard of last-minute works. I really don't know, it sounded good when I read it--after I finished--at 4am this morning, if a little skeletal in places. It was supposed to be a comparison of the contrasting styles of War; East vs. West; Sun Tzu vs. Karl von Clausewitz.

Sun Tzu wins, by the way.

Want to know something funny? I have five more significant papers due in the next week and a half, four of which should already have been done. Heheh. . . I'll probably start one of them tomorrow, woot!

Don't procrastinate!

I should probably mention, at least briefly, that I had to control myself since I wrote my last post because it seemed as if Global Warming articles were hunting me down like Jason Statham hunts down the bad guys in the Transporter II. My natural impulse was to fly into a rage and start formulating opposing arguments for me to post on here, but because that's what I wrote about last time, I have spared you the agony of reading my views on human caused Global Warming twice in a row (It's a sensationalist hoax dad-gummit!).

Well, that's quite enough blah-blah-blah for the day. Peace!