Sunnyside Up

Since I live in an expensive new (to me) apartment with a pool, I decided to go try out the swimming. This was a new experience because apparently people don't really spend that much time swimming in these things. They actually lay around off to the side and get sunburned. And, I might discreetly add that there were several HOTTIES scattered about. So I gave tanning a try. It was interesting, but the whole experience presented a whole new puzzle in the social dilemma for this Alaskan male. How does one flirt/socialize/associate with a girl who is dressed in a tasteful one-piece without coming across badly?

Here's how I envision that they do it in California:

Man approaches woman sunbathing, subtly flexes muscles.
Man: "Just look at my chiseled abs and rippling biceps."
Woman (peering over rim of sunglasses, sighs): "I'm not impressed, but did YOU notice my sun-kissed legs that practically GLOW when they catch the light?"
Me, I mean, Man: ". . . , . . . Yes."
Woman: "Well stop drooling on my legs. I'll have to oil them all over again."