On Facial Hair

So, it was my grand plan to return to Alaska and revert to my old mountain man ways. The first order of business, of course, was to grow a magnificent beard, reminiscent of the mountian men and prophets of old. Well, I must say that after a little over a week I had to give up. The reason for this is mainly because of coloring. My facial hair tends to be light colored, like the hair on my head, which actually doesn't look too good in the beginning stages of beard growth. Basically, it didn't look good; scruffy and ill kempt, like a mangy dog. On top of that, facial hair just feels kind of annoying. Maybe I didn't wait long enough, and maybe I got cold feet. Whatever. It might help if I had some sort of beard trimming and grooming apparatus that would help my facial hair growth look more presentable. Perhaps, after I obtain such a device, I shall again attempt to grow myself a respectable crop of mountain man facial hair, but until then I shall remain beardless.